Mindful Ramblings
Stir them in my Witches' Brew
Published on April 6, 2004 By Unfairman In Misc
This is all hearsay, mind you, because I never saw any of it with my own actual eyes. This all happened today at work, before I got there.

Apparently the produce ladies were completely freaking out this morning. Someone went in to find out what the matter was, and they too freaked out. The cause for all the out-freaking was that a herd of tarantulas had stowed away in our banana cargo. Our bananas come from South America, where they have tarantulas aplenty, but I personally found it hard to believe that tarantulas made their way through customs and all that stuff. I'm sure there were spiders, and they may have been big and hairy, but tarantulas? I mean, seriously, can tarantulas even get visas? I don't think so.

This, however, is not the first time strange things have found their way into our banana cargo. According to Matt, when he first started working there, he found half of a monkey's arm buried in the bottom of one of the crates. It was black and decomposing...said it was one of the worst things he's ever seen in his life. I asked him if he was sure it was a monkey's arm, and he said "Well, unless it was an extremely hairy child's arm." I know that they have more relaxed standards in some of the countries isn South America...and I'm inclined to believe Matt, however unlikely it seems. Still, it's pretty unlikely.

I guess if a tarantula can get a visa, so can half a monkey's arm.

Comments
on Apr 07, 2004
This was great Beal, keep this one in the archives...it may be of use at another time.
on Apr 21, 2004
Now was it really half a monkey, or just half of an arm that belonged to a complete monkey, but then again, I guess if he was missing any of his arm he wouldn't be complete.

"Corn on the cob man, that's a bullshit expression, see that's the way it comes out of the ground. They should call that corn, and every other version corn off the cob. It's not like you'd cut off my arm and call it Mitch, but then reattach it and call me Mitch-alltogether." - Mitch Hedberg