I have been coerced into taking a part in the local Community Education play. I like acting. I don't like acting like a moron.
My aunt runs the Community Education program in our small town, and she NEEDED another male performer or the show would not go on. The play is called "Laffing Room Only", which is extremely stupid, but the play isn't as bad as the ones they've done in the past. Mostly they do overly melodramatic comedies, which are mostly poorly acted. No one is required to adopt a poor Southern accent this time, however, and there is not one mention of a pig. But, hey, everyone has fun, and that's really the point, right?
My part is Ernie Faldo, and undercover agent setting up a sting operation in a rundown lodge in the middle of Vermont. Of course, we (and by we I mean they) have changed it to Minnesota and turned all fictional reference points into local ones (ie. "Bay House" becomes "Fortune Bay" [a resort/casino near us], "Montpelier" becomes "Duluth" and "snotty Boston college kids" becomes "UMD students".) Ah, local color, you gotta hate it.
Anyway, so my character sets up this operation to catch some guy who was stealing diamonds from some old lady at "Fortune Bay". I'm a detective yet I don't even get to carry a gun, let alone shoot anyone. That hardly seems fair. The sting turns into a bust and hilarity allegedly ensues.
Though my character is sort of a bumbling dolt, I think I'm going to make them let me play it as Humphrey Bogart. I'ma be all smooth and dangerous and that's why it's comical when I screw up. I'll be the talk of the town, I tell ya!
The things I get talked into.