I'm looking forward to this St. Paddy's Day. I'm not Irish, nor am I normally much of a drinker, but I plan to get totally ripped Wednesday night. I'm going to see a few friends I haven't seen in too long, and plan to weasel at least one beer each out of em. Add that to the ones I'll be buying myself, and I'll be in the clear (or fuzzy, depending on how you look at it)! Naturally, I'll have to buy some beers for other people, because that's the way karma flows. I was going to leave toni...

As I mentioned in my previous article, I've been eagerly awaiting the time when I can afford the new Ninja Gaiden game for my Xbox. I don't play video games to much, I prefer to read, but sometimes I see one that I just HAVE to have. It's not natural, I think. Anyway, I have fond memories of the Ninja Gaiden series from my youth. Throwing ninja stars at bad guys and killing them and stuff...I'd waste hours playing That Game for the good old NES. Those were the days, eh, kids? 6 buttons...up...

I lost my W-2 from the video store that fired me. I know, negligence on my part. Consider me chastised. Anyway, I called ShDianne today and asked her if she could copy my W-2 and I'd be in later to pick it up. She said it was no problem, she'd have it ready in half an hour, and I figured it wouldn't be. Unfortunately, I was wrong. I went in an hour later, figuring I"d be in and out. Instead, when I got there she was jibbering away to some person about God knows what, and I had to wait...

So, yesterday I asked my good friend (let's call her "ShMel") if she would like to be my date to my brothers wedding on June 5th. She accepted. It's cool, too, cause my departure date is June 8th, and I'll get to party with my friends before I go! Anyway, hours after ShMel agreed to accompany, she IMed me and told me that she had possibly broken her ankle. She was going to pick up our friend ShBrian from a party when she slipped on some ice and heard a crack. I told her it was probably the ...

It happens every Spring, here in the north. The air warms, the sun starts to shine, the snow melts and squirrels come out to chatter to you about how the past few months have been for them. Smiles appear on even the most dour of faces, and lawns that haven't been seen in 4 months stop by, like an old friend for a chat. And then BAM! Temperatures drop again, the sky goes gray and unloads 6 inches of snow on the heathen ground. The clouds roar their laughter as their frozen piss blankets the ...

My mom went shopping the other day, and she decided to buy me some new work shirts. My work shirts have to be white, button down, collared shirts that would work with ties. She came home with more shirts than I really need, including one Tommy Hilfiger shirt that she bought "on sale". The "sale" price was 30.00, marked down from 50.00, and the tag said XL. Any two of the other shirts she bought probably cost that much. Most were XXL, and I can swim in them. Let's clear something up:...

Hey guys! I need a little help here. I'm always on the lookout for good new (to me, anyway) music. I'll define 'good', in my tastes. I love Dispatch, Pearl Jam, Norah Jones, Storyhill. I'm really into the acoustic groove. "College music", I guess some people call it. Anyway, even though I don't really have money to spend, I'd love to hear some suggestions of bands you guys like. I'd prefer not to hear names of really mainstream bands, because I already know about them, and that woul...

My friend July and I are married. Apparently, we went down to Vegas one weekend and got hitched. We were at the chapel anyway, and I decided that I may as well propose and get this dating thing out of the way. It's boring. Anyway, that's a fun pretense. It started when she told me a story about her being in church, and the usher asking her if she'd like to wait for her husband. She held up her ringless wedding finger and told him she wasn't married. I, being the born smartass, replied "Wha...

Yeah, those are Pearl Jam lyrics. So what? This blog will probably be pointless rambling. If you don't like pointless rambling, stop now, you've been forewarned. My keyboard is really gross. It's got all kinds of specks (I was just checking the specs on the rotary girder...I'm retarded) of food and coffe and god knows what in it. Fortunately, those are all in the cracks, so I don't have to touch them. I once read a "true story" about someone who called tech support because their keyboar...

[This was originally a reply to a post, but I liked it, so I copied and pasted.] I work at a grocery store, and you know how they have those "Take a Penny Leave a Penny" dishes? Well, at the end of every shift, I take all those leftover pennies and put em in the "Support the Blind Kids Who Wanna Go to Camp to Pet Bunnies and Stuff" donation thing. I know it's not much, but I take them from every till, and when I don't work my coworker Rex does the same thing (in fact, I stole the idea from...

So, today at work (seems like so many of my articles start with that phrase) I got to rake the ditch. Those of you who have winters know how much garbage piles up in the snow over the season. Then, come Spring, the snow melts and 6 months worth of dirt and cigarette butts and Subway cups sifts to ground, where some unlucky shlub has to rake it up. Actually, I didn't mind it at all...it sorta broke up the monotony of the daily job, plus I got to work outside on a fairly nice day. I found an...

I am a night person. One of my favorite things to do in the middle of night is to walk out onto the porch. Sometimes, even though I'm not a smoker, I'll smoke one of my mom's cigarettes. Sometimes I'll cozy up to our huge, old, smelly, outside mutt and talk to him, even though he is past the age where he can hear most of the sounds I can make. Sometimes I'll close my eyes and listen to the distant timberwolves, their cries weaving their way through the softly rustling pine and birch branc...

This is all hearsay, mind you, because I never saw any of it with my own actual eyes. This all happened today at work, before I got there. Apparently the produce ladies were completely freaking out this morning. Someone went in to find out what the matter was, and they too freaked out. The cause for all the out-freaking was that a herd of tarantulas had stowed away in our banana cargo. Our bananas come from South America, where they have tarantulas aplenty, but I personally found it hard t...

It was an absolutely GORGEOUS Spring day. Temperatures were in the 60's and I was going down to spend time with most of my favorite people in the world. I left Cook around 2:30, after cashing my check and doing all the neccesary car maintanence checks and what not. I was on such a natural high from the spring weather that I rocked out to Dispatch for the entire hour and a half ride, which meant screaming at the top of my lungs and driving way too fast. I only had their Silent Steeples cd ...

I'm heading down to Duluth today, and I'm pretty psyched. For those of you (and I'll assume it's many of you) who have never been to Duluth, I don't know how to describe it to you. It's an absolutely GORGEOUS town, especially lakeside (it's located at the very tip of Lake Superior). I went to college there, and it still has a special place in my heart. Many of my friends still live there, as well as my little brother, and I doubt there's a place in the entire smallish city that doesn't ho...